9 Month Marathon

Is it normal that I’m sick of being pregnant already?  I mean, I’m only 15 weeks, so it’s not like I’m nearing the finish line any time soon.   In fact in the marathon that is pregnancy, I am only at mile 4, and I’ve got 22.2 miles to go.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I loved being pregnant.  I actually had a very smooth pregnancy, until the last two months.  But it was those last two months of the first pregnancy that have made these first few weeks of my second pregnancy much more difficult.   I will explain.  So in the last two months of my first pregnancy, I had pretty severe pelvic pain, to the point that I could not walk for more than a few blocks at a time, before the pain became too much to bear.  I also was showing signs of  abdominal wall separation, or diastasis recti.  Despite the conversations I had with my doctor regarding my pelvic pain, and his observations of the physical symptoms of my abdominal separation, not once did he suggest physical therapy.  And he made it seem like it was a normal part of pregnancy, so I didn’t think too much of it.  Then came the night before my son was born.  That night my pain went from uncomfortable to excruciating…to eventually debilitating, all in a matter of hours.  It got to the point where I was literally paralyzed with pain, and could not even move my own legs.  So we finally went to the hospital, because at that point I was 39 weeks pregnant, and knew I just had to get the baby out.  It turned out that I was, in fact, in the early stages of labor, but was in so much pelvic pain that I didn’t even notice the contractions.   One c-section and a 9.5 lb baby later, I learned that I had a 6cm pubic bone separation, called pubis symphasis.  What followed was 3 weeks of not being able to walk, and then 7 months of rehabilitation.

So this weakness already existed when I got pregnant the second time around, and although I have tried to remain optimistic that this condition will not plague me again, I am already in pelvic pain, and I am just barely in my second trimester.  I am doing everything I can to prevent it from happening again (physical therapy, wearing support braces for my pelvis, etc.), but I have to say that when you are feeling pain with your second pregnancy that you didn’t feel until month 8 with your first pregnancy, it is a little hard to remain cheery about it.

In some ways I think it’s normal to be “over” pregnancy when you’ve already done it before.  Because the second time around (or the third or fourth time, for that matter), you know what a big deal being pregnant is.  You know what it does to  your body, and how hard it is to reclaim that body when it’s all over.   And you become somewhat disenchanted by the reality of what pregnancy really is, versus all the idealized stories you have heard prior to your childbearing years.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still love being pregnant, and am so excited to welcome this new little one into the world.  And having gone through it once before, I know that the pain is all worth it.  But whereas most women only experience pain during those few short hours prior to meeting their new baby, I am unfortunately experiencing it every step of this 9 month marathon called pregnancy.  And unlike running a road race, there is no way to speed up, and get to that finish line any faster.

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