Sleep While You…Can’t???

It’s mother nature’s cruel joke: trying to sleep when you’re pregnant.  People tell you to make sure you “sleep while you can” before your baby is born.  But what they don’t tell you is all the things that can plague you as a pregnant lady, thus making it virtually impossible to fall asleep (and stay asleep!) at night.  So I have compiled a list of the top five issues that prevent us pregnant ladies from getting the sleep we so desperately need, in the days and weeks leading up to the day that we are robbed of it for all eternity (or at least the next 18 years):

1.  Constant thoughts about the baby:  ‘Will the baby be ok?’  ‘Is she moving?’  ‘Oh yeah, I think I just felt a kick.’  ‘Oh wait, did I?’  ‘I wonder what she is going to look like’. ‘I hope she has ten fingers and ten toes’…and on and on.

2. Oh the peeing!  My God, what is up with that anyway?  You feel like if you don’t get to the bathroom in 2.2 seconds you’re going to wet the bed, yet you get to the bathroom, and…sigh…it’s barely even a trickle.  All that uncomfortableness for nothing??

3.  The contractions.  Oi vey, are those annoying!  For me they started with this pregnancy at about 35 weeks, and I have had them on and off, day and night (but of course mostly night, when I’m trying to sleep) ever since.  And sometimes they are genuinely quite painful.  And along with those contractions come an increased heart rate, which does not bode well for those trying to calm themselves with sleep-inducing yoga breaths.

4. Apprehension about the big day:  When will it come?  Will it come?  I’m starting to think she’s never going to come!  Could tonight be the night that these stupid, torturous, teasing Braxton Hicks contractions turn into the real deal??  I mean, let’s get this show on the road already!

5. Pain.  Ok, I know not every woman has pain during her last trimester, but I do…big time.  Hip pain, back pain, pubic bone pain.  You name it, I have it.  It has rendered me completely incapable of turning over in bed.  So I just stay in the one position that I have finally gotten to work for me. So God forbid #2 on this list happens to me in the middle of the night!  It takes me 10 minutes just to work out the cobwebs and kinks that have developed in the 5 plus hours I  have spent sleeping (ok, thinking about sleeping, but not actually achieving sleep), before actually making it to the bathroom.

This will be my last post before the baby is born, and I hope that I have given you all something to laugh about and think about.  Big hugs to all the ladies out there who have babies, are carrying babies, or just dreaming about carrying babies.  It’s a tough road, and we are all stronger because of it!   This pregnancy has not been an easy one for me.  I have been plagued with just about every possible pregnancy scare, symptom, or pain, but the good news is it’s only nine (ok maybe ten) months of torture…and then the good stuff comes.  Of course I say this as someone who has clearly blocked the first three months of her first child’s life out of her mind.  Motherhood has a way of giving us that selective amnesia, and I, for one, am grateful for it.


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